NATHAN GILL published Clarity back in 2000 as a booklet. Clarity is very short, simple, and direct, but within its brevity can be found a full, complete teaching. Above all, it is...guess what? Clear! There is great power and lucidity in it. Clarity has deeply affected thousands of readers over the years. Now it's your turn.
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CLARITY
By
Nathan Gill
PROLOGUE
If all there is is Consciousness, if there is only Consciousness, then why or
for
what are you still seeking? If there is only Consciousness then right now
you
must be that and everything else that appears in and as awareness must
also
be that, including your sense of separate self if that is how you appear
now.
Any personal sense of I or ‘doership’ or ego must be Consciousness.
What
else could it be?
I,
ego, time, thought, separation, – if all there is is Consciousness then is not
all
of this already Consciousness? Any appearance of mundane, ordinary
existence
can be no less of Consciousness than any appearance of
unconditional
love, wholeness, bliss, stillness, silence or anything else. Does
anything
really need to be transcended, found or let go of?
Why
not live in this understanding, no longer requiring that you wait for all the
supposed
signs of ‘enlightenment’ to appear?
CLARITY
Until I was about 25 years old, I had no interest in spiritual matters and all I
knew
about them was what I had learned in religious education lessons at
school.
Around
1985 I joined a fraternal order which sent me regular monthly lessons
in
mysticism and ‘universal law’.
After
a couple of years I found it a bit stodgy and became interested in the
teachings
of a deceased Indian teacher offered, again, in monthly lessons,
and
also a guru-disciple relationship – even though he was already dead!
A
couple of years and several spiritual techniques later, I was bored with it
and
happened upon a book by a western guru. This book told me that I was
already
awake and needed no liberation. The truth of what he was saying
was
obvious. However, he then went on, (in the next few years and over the
course
of quite a few books), to proclaim himself the world teacher and
offered
a guru-disciple relationship with those who were interested.
Well,
I was having none of it, although over the following five years I read a
few
more of his books and just about every other spiritual book I could get my
hands
on. But, nothing really cut it for me like this western guru’s book had
done.
Somewhere in me I knew it was true; that I was already awake and
free,
but I was still confused because I seemed to be just an ordinary bloke
with
all the usual sorts of problems that ordinary people have.
Anyway,
I got sick of this guy’s stuff and everyone else’s and then I hit the
Advaita
scene. I read everything by and about Ramana Maharshi, Jean Klein
and
Nisargadatta Maharaj and everything by Ramesh Balseker.
A
lot of the confusion that I had felt before went. I understood that all there
is
is
Consciousness, but why did I still feel like a separate me? What was the
missing
link? If I was already awake and free then why did my life seem like a
pile
of dung?
In
1997 I read Tony Parson’s first book called “The Open Secret”. I contacted
him
and he invited me to join a discussion at a private house in London.
I
went along and sat in the crowded room and it became clear to me how
much
mystique I had built around the whole ‘enlightenment’ drama.
Tony
looked like an ordinary man. He spoke with humour and patience. I
listened
to what he said in response to people’s questions and I was struck by
the
simplicity and clarity of his answers. I went to more discussions over the
next
year and spoke to Tony on the phone whenever I could.
I
wanted to make him into my ‘teacher’ but he explained that he had nothing
to
teach, that there was nothing to learn. He pointed out that there is only
Consciousness
and that I am already that. Although I had accepted this
already,
it really began to sink in. Tony pointed out that there need not be any
kind
of ‘event’ associated with the recognition of your nature as
Consciousness.
Well, as it happened, in September 1998 an event did occur. I was gardening
and
it was drizzling with rain. I looked up and there was a subtle sense of ‘me’
not
being there. I got on my bike and cycled around the lanes and it seemed
like
there was a movie going on without any effort needed on my behalf to be
taking
part in it.
Even
though Tony had pointed out that no event is necessarily associated
with
the recognition of your nature as Consciousness, I had obviously still
been
subtly waiting for one because now that this event, or experience, was
occurring
I gave myself ‘permission’ to be awake. I had been waiting for
confirmation.
I
rang Tony and excitedly explained what was going on and, having given
myself
‘permission’ to be awake, I allowed myself to speak from the clarity of
understanding
that had already unfolded during the process of my seeking
before
the event took place. I no longer related as a seeker to Tony and he
recognised
that I now spoke from my nature as Consciousness.
Now,
having associated this experience with being awake, I started to get a
bit
precious about it.
I
woke the next day. Was it still there? Yes! Then, after a few days, I noticed
that
the experience was wearing off a bit, but a couple of days later it was full
on
again. After a couple of weeks of the experience coming and going and of
trying
to hold on to it, I went to one of Tony’s discussions and the experience
seemed
to be re-charged by being there but then a few days later the
experience
disappeared altogether. I didn’t say anything to Tony about it and
I
didn’t go to the meetings for a while. I felt confused again.
Then
I happened to read a book called “Collision with the Infinite” by a woman
called
Suzanne Segal who, over many years, had an experience going on
constantly.
After several years it was confirmed by certain ‘teachers’ that it
was
‘enlightenment’. Then she got ill and died, and, in the afterword to
Suzanne’s
book which was written by a therapist friend of hers, I read that
near
the end she had become confused and frustrated because the
experience
had left her.
That
was it! Suddenly it was absolutely clear to me that these experiences – I
call
them transcendental events or experiences – actually have nothing to do
with
clarity. A transcendental experience can last a few seconds or ten years
or
maybe even the rest of your life, but a transcendental experience is just
that.
An experience. Many people have had these experiences and then the
experience
is gone and often the person is left with a desire for more of it.
They
think they have been given a taste of ‘enlightenment’, when all that has
happened
is that they have had a transcendental experience. Walking down
the
street is an experience, but it’s an ordinary one so you don’t go looking for
more
of it.
The
confusion was gone. I knew what I am without any doubt and it was
obvious
that I already had been that all my life. I no longer required any
transcendental
experience to prove it to me.
The
whole of my ‘spiritual’ search had been added on to what I already am
and
I also understood why people are confused around this whole issue. Why
they
confuse ‘spirituality’ with clarity. This recognition of my true nature was
not
associated with any transcendental event or experience. It was clear that
a
transcendental experience of any kind is easily confusing if it occurs before
you
recognise with clarity your nature as Consciousness.
It
is obvious that the transcendental event that was experienced had nothing
to
do with clarity of recognition. The occurrence of the event brought my
confusion
to a head and allowed me to see clearly how I had been subtly
waiting
for an event as permission to be what I already am.
I
see now that no transcendental event has any significance in the light of the
plain,
ordinary, everyday clarity of what you really are.
You
are Consciousness. You are that in which all appears. World, body,
thoughts
– all appear in you. You are not to be found as separate from
anything.
You are the source and appearance of all that is. You need not go
anywhere
or do anything for this to be obvious. It is the most obvious thing.
You
are always overlooking it, taking it for granted.
All
appears in awareness, ordinary awareness now, which is the ground of all
that
is, including this present experience. Simple awareness is the common
factor
to all experience. Just see that you are simply present. Nothing else is
ever
happening. See that all arises and falls in present awareness. People
pass,
clouds are going by, conversations are going on, thoughts appear. All
unfolds
in present awareness.
Within
awareness, you are appearing to yourself as everything. People,
thoughts,
worlds, universes, life, death – all take place in you. Identification
as
an ordinary human individual takes place in you. You are the source and
appearance
of all.
All
experience appears in you. There is only the present appearance of
everything
in and as awareness. Any ‘enlightenment’ experience is merely
another
modification of experience in awareness. You need not attempt any
transcendence
or annihilation of individuality, ego, or anything else. All of that
appears
in ordinary awareness. This experience now, however ordinary or
extraordinary,
is the content of awareness. Nothing whatsoever needs to
change,
there is nothing to get or realise. You are Consciousness, aware and
appearing
as everything.
There
is awareness right now – whatever the content. Awareness and
content.
Ocean and waves. The ebb and flow of life. This is it now. You are it.
When
you no longer seriously entertain the whole conceptual story of a life
extended
in thought beyond the present content of awareness, conceptual
living
is seen for what it is and ceases to be the exclusive focus of attention.
Identification
as the conceptual me – or ego – is no less a reality than simple
awareness,
but is an unnecessary addition, or overlay, onto the
uncomplicated
sense of ‘me’ as bodily presence.
The
acceptance of life as it is rather than any efforts to be rid of thinking or
ego,
or to become ‘enlightened’, allows seeking to fall naturally away. All
efforts
to be rid of ego merely reinforce the sense of identification with it.
Acceptance
of life as it is does not bring ordinary bodily life to an end in some
magic
firework display of enlightenment. Thinking continues, life carries on,
but
is no longer burdened by the complication of the search for unity. Life is
seen
as the expression of wholeness rather than a search for it.
You
are Consciousness. However you presently appear is already perfect
including
identification as ego, and also any seeking to be rid of ego.
Conceptual
identification is merely an additional appearance within the
present
play of awareness, and awareness requires no enlightenment. Ego
thinks
it does.
Seeing
with clarity, life appears as a great play. You – Consciousness – play all
the
roles in the play, and appear as the whole show spontaneously arising
without
cause.
It
is part of the play that you – Consciousness – play the roles usually without
knowing
your real identity, but sometimes, as part of the show, you allow
yourself
to know what you really are.
When
you – Consciousness – are involved as a character in your play without
allowing
yourself to know your real nature, the role is taken seriously and all
the
dramas of life appear from this.
If
a role is played where you notice what you are, the play is seen for what it
is.
The character who notices its real identity doesn’t disappear with a flash
and
a bang – although that is possible because there are no rules for the play–
or put on ochre robes and have disciples, or teach ‘spiritual’ truths, although
any
of these are possible, depending on the pattern of the character’s role in
the
play. The character will likely appear as he or she did before knowing
their
real identity. The character is likely to continue to lead what is an
ordinary
life in the play. It is not even necessarily so that the character tells
anyone
or communicates what is now obvious.
There
is no point to this seeing with clarity. It is part of the play and has no
merit
associated with it. If the character was suffering or had a problem
before
the clarity, then that may still be part of the character’s role. There
could
be bliss or delight, but only if that is a part of the role being played.
There
are absolutely no rules or conditions. The whole play has no purpose
or
point and is just you – Consciousness – celebrating yourself. You are your
play.
It has no separate existence from you.
Spiritual
life has no particular relevance to clarity. Spiritual life appears as
part
of the play of life but often becomes confused as a pre-requisite to clarity
because
of what appears in the play as the individual’s evolution through
progressively
‘higher’ or finer stages of life.
The
ordinary character, occupied with all the usual affairs of human life,
perhaps
becomes interested in religion or self-improvement. There could be
a
movement into ‘spiritual’ life and maybe an interest in the non-duality of
Advaita.
This
progression is not necessary for clarity to appear. It could appear at any
time
in any character in the play. None of the various parts or apparent
stages
in the play of life have any ability to produce clarity.
Clarity
arises spontaneously of its own accord. Consciousness becomes
aware
of itself in and as the play of life. Advaitic knowledge has no more
special
ability to create a condition for clarity to appear than any other part of
the
play.
Spiritual
life sees the individual as separated from its nature as Consciousness,
and has as it’s goal re-union.
and has as it’s goal re-union.
As
a means to achieve this goal of re-union, an array of exotic techniques and
methods
have been formulated to ‘purify’ the individual, to get rid of the ego,
to
calm the mind and emotions etc.
The
fundamental point being missed at every stage of the individual’s quest is
that
the individual – being played by you, who are Consciousness – is already
what
he or she is seeking. Nothing will make the seeker any more what he or
she
already is.
The
search and all the methods and techniques employed are there for no
more
reason than any other part of the play. They arise for their own sake as
part
of the play.
Clarity
can occur in anyone at any time with no spiritual ‘qualifications’.
Consciousness
in the form of a person sitting in a lotus posture, visualising a
purple
light in their genitals, breathing the universe into the solar plexus,
chanting
“om” and ascending up the spine into the thousand petalled lotus,
has
no more chance of re-union than the drug-addict in the ghetto.
Consciousness
is already perfectly present in either case so no re-union is
needed
or possible.
Spiritual
life imposes many conditions on the ‘impure’ and ‘separate’
individual.
Special meditations, appropriate behaviours, ceremonies, diets,
sexual
conduct, destruction of the ego, cessation of thought, finding the
stillness,
surrendering to the guru etc.
Consciousness,
already being Consciousness in whatever form it appears,
has
no need of a vegetarian diet, celibacy, tantric sexuality, meditation or
gurus.
Consciousness already is all of these things. If you like chanting,
meditation,
eating vegetarian food, or practising tantric sex, then that’s all fine.
It
won’t help you realise that which you already are.
The
individual’s attention could move to exotic planes and realms, see the
continual
creation and dissolution of the universe at the atomic level and
experience
the eternal ecstatic cosmic union of Siva and Shakti. But, when
you
get back, don’t forget to go to work on Monday, pay the electricity bill and
clean
the toilet.
You
– Consciousness – also appear in your play as individuals playing the roles
of
teachers, masters or gurus. In some cases the individual may have had a
transcendental
experience or a still occurring one, which the individual
believes
is his or her ‘enlightenment’. If the individual was already following a
guru
of their own or a certain teaching, it is likely that the beliefs and methods
that
appeared to lead up to the transcendental experience – his or her
‘enlightenment’
– will now be passed on to the individual’s followers as ‘the
truth’.
Some
of these ‘teachers’ may even have the ability to induce unusual
experiences
in the disciple via energy transmission which is often a strong
attraction
to the disciple.
There
is nothing wrong with any of this. All of it is the perfection of the play,
Carry
on with it. Have fun. None of it leads to clarity.
I am that, but ………….. I need to take responsibility, heal my life, go
deeper,
become more aware, be here now, enter the stillness, save the
planet,
express my emotions, think positively, become the witness, be blissful,
find
a guru, be useful, find the meaning of life, calm my thoughts, do good
works,
get rid of the ego, enter manhood or womanhood, be more practical,
get
enlightened, find my soul-mate, perform a ceremony, become initiated, get
in
touch with my feelings, ……….
Maybe
you do. How can I disagree? While you’re busy with all that, I’ll go
and
have a cup of tea and read the paper.
What
is, right now, is perfection. At each moment the content of awareness is
absolutely
perfect just as it is.
This
present moment of awareness has not arisen from the past and is not
leading
to the future. This is Consciousness, right now.
If
you seem to be a separate person with a strong sense of ego and plenty of
problems,
then that is because you – Consciousness – are playing that role.
The
apparent separate individual may concentrate upon self-improvement,
spiritual
life, or anything else throughout the whole of their life if that is the role
being
played, but only the clarity of what you really are undermines the search
to
become awake or to be anything other than what already is.
You – Consciousness are appearing as your whole play now. Your play is not
a
separate creation watched and presided over by you. You appear as your
play
now, completely awake, absolutely already wide awake, unable therefore
to
wake up. You are always obvious to yourself; never hidden.
The
characters played by you in your play have no separate existence, only
an
apparent one. Your characters are you celebrating yourself, immersed in
your
great play of life, playing the game of looking for yourself, sometimes
finding
and knowing yourself as the appearance of your play.
This
communication about clarity has no particular relevance or significance
over
any other part of the play. It carries no merit and has no point. There is
no
purpose for you to find yourself.
The
person of clarity appears here with all this made obvious, seeing with
clarity
the play in all its myriad forms, knowing the non-necessity of
everything.
Right
now you are Consciousness, appearing as a character in your play.
Maybe
you think you need confirmation. Forget it. Relax. You already are
That.
With
much love to You from Yourself.
I
sought ‘enlightenment’ as an escape from what I saw as the problems, trials and
boredom of ordinary life. The ordinary life continues but is now seen in, and
as, present awareness. The ‘spiritual’ search is over. Life is just as it is.
Nathan
was born in 1960 and lives in rural England, working
as a gardener.
Copyright
© Nathan Gill
February
2000
All rights reserved. Used by permission.
We
are grateful to Nathan and the good folks at Non-Duality Press for
allowing us to present this beautiful teaching here on Awakening
Clarity. Nathan's books are available from your bookseller, Amazon, or
directly from Non-Duality Press.
LINKS:
Nathan's Website: http://www.nathangill.com/index.html
Nathan's Already Awake on Amazon: http://amzn.to/JOMAgh
Nathan's Being on Amazon: http://amzn.to/JWyp9Q
Nathan's books at Non-Duality Press: http://non-dualitypress.org/search?q=nathan+gill
On YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/channel/UCZxsOI2rpvk3I8L_XHkd2jQ
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